Purging the extra weight
Well, I did it. I packed my life into a 65-liter backpack plus a 20-liter carry-on.
And I’m sitting here staring at it, thinking, but do I have enough stuff?
Obviously, yes, and I can always buy more. But that’s not the question I should be asking.
There are many reasons for why I’m embarking on this journey – one of which is to detach myself from having more than what I need. Going minimalist makes sense on a practical level, it’s easier to travel across multiple countries with a lighter load, but this reason extends beyond that.
I’ve always believed that the less you have, the happier you are. Easy to say when you have, well, lots of material possessions. And I’ve placed a lot of value on the stuff that I own, as anyone does. We buy and keep things for a reason! Getting rid of all this stuff I’ve shaped my identity around is tougher than I thought it would be, especially now that I’ve gotten rid of most everything except for what I truly love. I’m having a hard time detaching myself from things I don’t need to take with me but would like to – that extra sweater or the extra pair of jeans or a pair of shoes that are exactly identical to the other pair but in a different color. It’s scary to part with things I might miss (which might be an indication I should leave it behind). Beyond that, though, the bigger thing nagging at me is the worry that people will look down on me or see me in a certain way because I’ve worn the same sweater three times that week. Or that all these possessions bring me some kind of status. Or that without all of this stuff, who am I?
That’s it, the question I should be examining, the meat of it: who the hell am I without all this stuff?
I even went out and bought an 85-liter backpack to replace my 65-liter one so I had more room for shit. I’m rolling my eyes at myself as I write this out. How ridiculous, given what I’m trying to do here.
While I’ve always thought of myself as fairly minimalistic, and I think overall I am, purging my wardrobe down to a few pieces of clothing is minimalism on a whole new level. I’m just a girl who likes buying the same shirt in three different colors because I enjoy variety (anyone else?).
So, it’s hard. And it’s also very, very freeing.
With every item I decide not to stuff into my backpack, ever so slowly my sense of what’s important shifts. And I start to see a little more clearly and with a little more focus: what I want for my life; my goals, long and short term; the things I want to experience; the habits I want to create. All of this is revealed to me in a way that’s easier to access because I don’t have all this clutter around me. I’m sure everyone who’s purged their closet in a Goodwill spree knows what I mean.
You just feel lighter. Physically and mentally. Steve Jobs said, “the real art is knowing what to leave out, not what to put in.”
I have shed many layers over the last few years in an attempt to find a version of myself that feels more authentic – lighter, happier, not tied to things I should be doing or that should make me happy. Shedding material possessions I’m holding onto for no reason other than “who am I without it all?” seems to be the next required step. Sure, this purge leaves me feeling a little exposed – nothing to hide behind anymore! – but that’s the point. It’s the only way to really see yourself.
No one gives a shit if you wear the same thing three days in a row. Trust me, I’ve done it. You’re making so much space for other things / people / experiences to enter your life by paring down! I love feeling the mental clutter lift when I’ve done a stuff purge, too.